Listening to and understanding girls with ADD/ADHD
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Listening to and understanding girls with ADD/ADHD |
Tips and
Suggestions
.....helping girls with ADD/ADHD
experience success in Girl Scouts.
Let me start by stating that the girls I have worked with who have ADHD are some of the most creative, passionate and enthusiastic Girl Scouts I have come across. Are they a challenge? I'd be lying if I said never. But, aren't we all taught that the best things in life take work? Helping these girls find their voice and strength within the opportunities of Girl Scouting is so worth it. I hope you find something in the following list that helps you understand and hear that girl that seems to dance to a different beat. I make no pretense at having all the answers. I only hope to provide you with suggestions and the resources to learn more.
"I need to talk to her parents and tell them what I suspect."
"I will adapt Patch/Try-it/Badge/IPA requirements for this girl."
"I really don't think I can handle having a girl with ADHD in our Troop."
1. "I just know I have a girl in my troop that has ADD/ADHD!"
When I hear a leader say that, I see red flags, I hear warning bells and my defenses go up. It is so important to never assume a girl's behavior is dictated by ADHD without input from her parents. Usually when someone hears the term ADHD, they think hyperactivity. All too often when a leader tells me she is sure a girl in her troop has ADHD, they point to her inability to sit still and her "talkative" nature as evidence. It is very important that you learn about the difference between ADHD with Hyperactivity and a girl that just "operates" at a higher speed!
While girls may have a "hyperactive" component to their ADHD, more often girls have ADHD - Inattentive type. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to miss the possibility of ADHD in girls with this type of ADHD. In my own experience, we (and others around my daughter) just assumed it was immaturity. Take the time to educate yourself about ADHD and its differing types. It is a simple, yet powerful, first step.
An important question to keep in mind is, does the behavior keep the girl from being successful? We all seem to exhibit behavior(s) that could be labeled ADHD or Obsessive Compulsive or a one of a myriad of other "disorders". The point at which we should become concerned and look for help is, when the behavior(s) impact our ability to be successful and happy in our lives. This is important to keep in mind when working with girls. Ask yourself, is the behavior impacting her ability to feel successful or just irritating me?!
2. "Why can't she just behave? She drives me crazy!"
Once you learn a bit more about ADHD - especially about the impulsivity component - the easier it is to work with the girl who seems to be "misbehaving". Unfortunately, children with ADHD all too often get labeled as problem kids - kids who "won't" listen, kids who "won't" behave. I have learned to hate the word "won't"!
One thing I've learned is that, in spite of the desire to do well, many of these children have trouble controlling impulses. All too often they don't think before they act. I know one girl who absolutely loves Girl Scouts and so much wants to do well, but just can't control her impulses and, as a result, her behavior can be very frustrating. I have found that by learning what I can about the impulsivity she experiences, I no longer get upset with her (ok, most of the time!). I understand her heart is in the right place, she just has trouble controlling herself. I may bark at her when she is making my job harder but, I try and make sure she knows I recognize and value her strengths and gifts. Easier said than done most of the time! But, it is so important that she knows people see the wonderful person she is. If it hasn't already, puberty will do its best to make sure she loses sight of that. I see it as part our job as leaders to make sure she knows we still see it. The girl with ADHD needs our advocacy even more than most.
3. "I need to talk to her parents and tell them what I suspect."
This is a tough one. I have experienced the spectrum of parents. I know parents that who are upfront, accepting and share with you about their daughter's ADHD. I have also dealt with parents who seem ashamed of their daughter's challenges. And, then there are the parents who refuse to see it. As a leader, how do you deal with it? I'm afraid there are no easy answers.
We have made sure our daughter knows that her ADHD is caused by nothing more than an imbalance (or differing balance :)) of the chemicals in her brain. She knows it has nothing to do with her effort or strength as a person. It's just body chemistry! I am constantly amazed at the parents that don't see that. They see ADHD as something wrong - something they, or the child, are doing wrong. What a horrible, and unnecessary, burden for that family to carry. So how do you, as a Girl Scout Leader, approach parent of a child you suspect of having ADHD? Carefully!
If a parent has shared with you that her daughter has ADHD, you can ask what things you can do to help her daughter be successful. Her daughter may have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) at school that addresses ways/adaptations to help her find success at school. Perhaps you and the parent can explore ways to adapt strategies from the IEP to the troop environment.
No mention of ADHD from the parent? I would first suggest that you might share some behaviors that concern you and see if the parent has any thoughts or input. What you do from there depends on the parent's response.
Parent responds favorably to your concerns. I do not suggest using the words ADHD if the parent doesn't. Focus on the behavior and challenges without the suspected label. Chances are they have probably heard the concerns before and will want to share what works for their child. Or, maybe this will be new to them and you can explore strategies together.
Parent responds by saying their child is just lazy, irresponsible, a troublemaker... Believe it or not, some of us have heard that. Unfortunately, there are parents who refuse to accept the existence of ADHD. It is incredibly sad that a girl might be made to feel that she is the problem. As a caring Leader, you can explore ways to help this girl. Visit our Resources section, talk with other leaders, see if your council can offer any support. Be discreet in your discussions.
One thing that can not be emphasized enough is sensitivity and discretion. It is imperative to respect the privacy of any girl. Girls and their families vary in their acknowledgement, acceptance and understanding of ADHD. As long as there is a stigma attached to an ADHD diagnosis, we must be vigilant in respecting a girl's comfort level. I have worked with girls who "would die" if anyone knew they had ADHD. Other girls wear it on their sleeve. We need to respect each of them.
4. "I will adapt Patch/Try-it/Badge/IPA requirements for this girl."
In an ideal world, when the girls choose the requirements they want to complete, you hope that the needs of a girl with ADHD would be met in those choices. Unfortunately, she might not feel free to speak up. Here is where you come in! If you need to modify a requirement, do it in a way that all of the girls will take part in and benefit from! It is so important not to single out the girl with ADHD! Requirements that involve a lot of pencil and paper work and reading can be especially challenging. Most of the adaptations I have done have involved making the requirement more hands on and active. I think all girls can appreciate and enjoy that! I've also learned to stay away from any requirements that involve too much "at home" work - especially tasks that involve tracking a behavior or an activity for a period of time. In our case, that has proven to be too much a struggle. I feel like I am just setting the girl up for failure, and worse, feeling like one. With that being said, it is important to remember that girls with ADHD struggle with attention (focus, organization, etc.) not lack of intelligence! You do not want to dumb down the requirements. That isn't fair to anyone, especially the ADHD girl. You want to find a way to achieve the intended goal of the requirement but, in a way that plays to a girl's strengths. You are not making it easier. You are making it accessible.
Please share what works for your troop! We would love to have Leaders share tips on our Try-It/Badge/IPA/Patch pages!
5. "She can never finish things at our meetings."
Completing tasks in a designated period of time can be an issue for girls with ADHD. If the activity/craft is something that will not be followed up on in another meeting, be prepared for the girl to take the project home to finish. I try to bring supplies bundled individually so all girls can take them home easily if they can not finish in the meeting time.
6. "I really don't think I can handle having a girl with ADHD in our Troop."
First of all, don't sell yourself short! Too often, when we feel we can't handle something, it's because we have a fear of the unknown. In the case of ADHD, we all hear the "horror" stories. No one seems to share the positive and rewarding stories. Hmmmm. I encourage you to learn what you can about girls with ADHD, work with the parents as much as possible and ask your Neighborhood/Service Unit and Council for whatever resources and help they might have available.
The label of ADHD can be a positive and a negative. On the positive side, knowing a girl has ADHD might enable you to be more tolerant of certain behaviors. When you are aware of her challenges and struggles, and why undesirable behaviors might happen, you can't help but be more accepting and understanding. On the negative side, the label can lead a person to react to a girl based on assumptions and misinformation. A girl walks into a new situation with opinions about her already formed.
Just as each girl in your troop is different from the other, girls with ADHD are different from other girls with ADHD. ADHD manifests itself differently in each person. The ADHD label should be just another tool you use to get to know a girl, learning her strengths and challenges, in your attempt to assess how best to help her feel successful in Girl Scouts - just as you do with all the girls in your Troop.
7. "We have a Troop overnight planned. What about medication?"
Talk with the parents!
Unfortunately, because of the perceived stigma many girls sense, we need to be extra sensitive about dispensing their ADHD medications. Now, my daughter is perfectly fine announcing she needs her pills but, she is definitely in the minority! Other girls I have worked with would just as soon not take their medication rather than risk questions from other girls in the troop. A very respected Leader friend of mine suggested that we just refer to their medication as allergy pills. That made a tremendous difference in the comfort level of a few girls!
Rather than have a girl feel like she should just do without her medication (thereby, resulting in a more stressful experience for her), let the girl and parent know you are willing to do what it takes to make "medication time" discreet. Considering we have to have a permission slip to dispense aspirin, this is very manageable!
12 Things Girl Scouts With ADD/ADHD Would Like Their Leaders to Know
What I Wish My Leader Knew - Site Submissions
Myths about ADD/ADHD - offsite
Add your suggestions for helping Girl Scouts with ADHD achieve success!
Troop Tips / Try-Its / Badges / IPAs / Patches - See what others have shared!
What about other "disorders" like Autism Spectrum/Asperger's, Learning, etc.?
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All opinions and suggestions on this page are those of the author (gleaned from a multitude of resources and personal experiences)and are not endorsed by Girl Scouts of the USA. 'Girl Scouts' and 'Girl Scouts of the USA' are either trademarks or registered trademarks of Girl Scouts of the USA.
